Andy & Sophie.
Andy
Born & bred in Cumbria and I have spent much of my life living, working and playing on and around the Lake District fells. I live with my family, Fiona & Gregor, in the Eden valley. Our lives were sent on a completely unforeseen trajectory when our daughter, Sophie, took her own life on December 19th 2018.
In looking for a charity to support for Sophie’s funeral we were introduced to PAPYRUS, the national charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide. We realised that PAPYRUS was the perfect charity to support in our darkest time and we were determined to bring something positive out of the utter devastation of losing Sophie.
“We were determined to bring something positive out of the utter devastation of losing Sophie.”
Shortly after Sophies funeral, I ran a half marathon using Sophie’s entry and raised around £40,000 however during this training I realised that the cash raised was the by-product of the real output – saving lives!
By raising awareness of suicide prevention, encouraging families to talk to each other about their deepest feelings and introducing thousands of people to the lifesaving work of PAPYRUS it was clear that the stigma of talking about suicide had been reduced and many people reached out to HOPELINEUK for help.
Talking openly about our family’s experience of losing Sophie ensured that other families were saved from suffering the same excruciating pain, loss and grief.
Since running the first half marathon I have done 2 more (even though I hate them) and have also been involved with many other activities and events aimed at raising funds and, more importantly, bringing PAPYRUS to people’s awareness.
These have included:
Yoga sessions
A community choir concert
A comedy night
Skipping
Hula hooping
Challenge walks
Being the voice of PAPYRUS on their BBC Radio 4 Charity of the Week Appeal
Making a film, “The Other Side”, about Sophie, suicide awareness and the positive mental health benefits of being outdoors.
Many, if not most, of these activities got me featured in local papers along with regional & national TV and radio. Gregor, Sophie’s brother, describes me as a “media tart”, I don’t mind because I know that the more people are able to talk about suicide, the more people know about PAPYRUS more people will be saved.
“The cash raised was the by-product of the real output – saving lives!”
Sophie
Sophie was a beautiful little girl with the blondest of hair and broadest of smiles who grew up to be a beautiful young woman who lit up every room she entered.
Throughout her life Sophie came across as an open, happy person who was extremely sociable. She was gregarious, good fun and was always able to raise a smile. When walking into our house her “hiya” seemed to fill the place with joy.
Sophie had a wide circle of friends scattered across the UK. She brought a smile and sense of fun to everyone she met.
Our family spent loads of time in the outdoors; Sophie enjoyed walking and biking but she especially loved skiing. We have had great times in the outdoors, we will always have happy memories of time spent outside with Sophie and I always carry photos in my map bag of her sheltering behind a wall in blizzard conditions on Cross Fell – she was even smiling in that!
“If she had shared her emotions with any of us, we would have done everything within our power to help her… but she didn’t.”
She also loved listening to (and sometimes playing) music; she was well-brought up listening to rock and heavy-metal. I took her to her first concert, Iron Maiden, and she took Gregor, her brother, to his first music festival – Kendal Calling when he had just had his 10th birthday!
Sophie grew up with her mum, George, in Kendal where she was Deputy Head Girl at Kirkby Kendal School, and after a summer volunteering at a Kenyan orphanage, she decided her future lay in nursing. Her nursing career took her to Edinburgh where she became an extremely well-respect oncology nurse.
In the autumn of 2018, Sophie split from her husband. As ever our family offered her all the love and support we could. It was clear that she was feeling down about some of the decisions she had made however there was nothing in her behaviour or demeanour that suggested she was contemplating suicide.
In December Sophie was offered a new position which she seemed excited about and had taken a lease on a lovely flat. She was due to return to Cumbria for the festive period on December 20th.
On December 19th 2018, Sophie took her own life.
We were devasted, shattered, crushed by grief. No one had any inkling that Sophie was feeling suicidal – she didn’t tell anyone how she felt, she seemed like “normal” Sophie. If she had shared her emotions with any of us, we would have done everything within our power to help her…but she didn’t.
Since we were unable to help Sophie escape from the downward spiral that led her to kill herself, we are committed to do whatever we can to help other families avoid suffering the same pain that we know. Helping PAPYRUS gives us something really positive to support in the knowledge that the work they do directly saves lives.